Ideas First

fire within

Ideas are born out of Spirit: ["S" meaning essence of "pir" = pire ie fire]. Here fire and water mix. Striving to match proportions for multibenefit of pyr-a-mids, boats purified by the fire perform better.

shape of things to come
Get to the bottom of it

The name Vladimír Vaňha disappeared for a while, yet he can be credited with the first, and so far, the most successful rodeo kayak ever. Paddlers such as Shawn Baker took his AeroQuatic to more unofficial world rodeo titles than any other kayak before or since. Vlad can justly be called a founder of the art of rodeo kayak design. Here is how it takes shape:

It is said that every firm expresses the spirit of its founder. I left my homeland after the Soviet invasion, so that the boats I wanted to make could express any spirit. To discover that the most prosperous entities are actually churning out goods without spirit for the majority of spiritless buyers was a shocker. Since the beginning, Noah, the firm I started, attracted a tiny, more able team.

I don't know what went wrong, but the position of world´s second largest kayak maker was for us suddenly too tight anyway. We had the first plastic boat under the ten feet. Many paddlers did not even try then this extreme shorty, so I extended it 5 inches. With the new boat, the AQ, Shaun Baker won at the annual Bitches rodeo (they're telling me it was actually the "Noah rodeo" then) several times in a row.

The State Governor patted my shoulder and pronounced me 'The Entrepreneur of the Year'. But the local corruption reassured me that Noah still had spirit - mine was suffering too. Some locals dispute it, claiming it was my loose mouth - it was not appropriate to tell the good ol' mountain boys court: "You are running a police state with communist's manners".

The resulting persecution led to Noah's destruction. There was not enough resources left to restart. I spent a few more years, trying to straighten the commissars up, to have an opportunity to feed them. Then letting the future victims, schooling their children from the racket, to deal with the charging fascism themselves, I saw a new chance in Prague.

I joined with an upstart who was unable to produce, so I appreciated a friend who vouched for his relative. Thus, forgetting there are more crooks here than I had gotten used to, I lost the little I had left. I met a friend with a barn for my kayak oven, but when he got re-married, I was factory-less again.

I found my own barn, took deposits for the works, built a new oven and in a few years put out several lines of hot boats. Once more Noah attracted a group of enthusiasts, and improved the production above the present state of the art. Since then, not a single Noah boat has broken.

Noah boats do not catch the eye with shine and slick cosmetics. Ask paddlers who go more than surface deep and who rely on them, then check the boats in action. Besides spirit, Noah again has innovations which the clone peddlers may be boasting as new ten years from now.

For example, Noah´s solid state Bio-Dynamics: NASA found that it´s gadgets make their space men tired. Since they began to ionize their surroundings they last longer. Sickness rate in a hi-rise building in Switzerland went down 30% after ionization. It is part of Noah Bio-Dynamics.

To untrained or exhausted paddlers this nature restoring technology allows extra power. We have it, and do not need to engrave on your brain endless: "Buy, Buy, Buy!" We´ll share it, but you might have to find us yourself. Test us thoroughly, since even a better boat might need getting used to.

For my widened vision and having to leave the best friends behind, American Bar Assoc. members and N.C. government employees do not qualify for buying Noah products. It is you with some of your own mind left, whom we really want. We rather blast the trail too. And that´s why we are still here.

We like to keep our rat race within reason. You can bring in old Noah parts for a new boat with a discount, also helping the ecology. Instead of endlessly increasing our output, we will keep coming with further advances. After all, producers who sell to everybody waving cash under their noses are no different to the girls standing by the interstate once you cross the Czech border.

Elsewhere invisible pimps in suits are pushing artificial sweeteners, potions with fluoride, margarine, irradiated or genetically altered food and their BSE meat. Are their shiny decorated bubbles a way to wash money? Like likes alike, and we are also what we use. It is satisfaction to see that my boats are generally shunned by "sheeple" * who descend into shinier soulless clones of each other.

Noah kayaks are built by paddlers who trade their labor for boats. They do a spirited job. It is sometimes hard to teach them finesse in the details in such a short time. But one day, maybe, we will even have first class cosmetics - after all, we want to have a great time turning down "en masse" as undesirables the "wanting" rulers who displeased us.

Each of us has his own way to make a place on the sun. Noah´s hi-tech barn adjoins an ancient water-mill. When we regain water rights on our creek, efficient turbines will mean energy independence. Individuals in their own right striving to take back their power are at home in the Noah team.

^* Neither men or sheep - sheeple: People unable to think clearly for them selves flock together with others of the same ilk, happy to be led by shepherds whose views they don´t have the wits to challenge, unaware that they are being led to the cooking pot.